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Monday, July 25, 2016

Getting to a higher stage (writing for myself).

There's levels to this, talking to someone with a varying degree of education or rather for us, talking about someone working on their next degree. I was just thinking about that, got a little creative on some sour sunset, but got locked out of my room and forgot about it--by the time. I was working on so much, (you reap what you sow thinking). I had so many different things I was trying to progress with minus any calculus (or even upper level math).

But was thinking over a little grouping with friends, by the time I'm able to invest in anything I'm aware of now, or even in the future. It will all have changed. I could have made enough money to live more comfortably had I never been robbed (2x) straight out of high school. I lost everything, my friends, my car, and my family were non-existent in total. Went on some hard drugs (way too much), without a business any longer or a job, and tried to turn over a new leaf when the flashback on the anarchist's cookbook sales made me want to get out of jail and be that proud child of the military again. Secretly wanting to be a hacker for the FBI, Navy Seal, and even a cop (join the bomb squad, SWAT). Well I realized when I was a kid, I had a lot of variables that most people have a least some of that were bad sectors in my brain (stemming from being exposed to pornographic thinking and feelings at a very early age). I could never associate that with people like me, because there were no other people like me (Makes me some super-rare goldmine of ideas in my opinion). I always had to help the other guy, try to see thing from a point of view that doesn't even relate to me at all (the African Americans). I grew up in the South, and it's dirty for a reason (which I will get into another time).

I never could join the military, and fell into a large cycle of wasted time and direction. I think everyone should blog in the hospital. I crunched a lot of shit away in my last post. I was afraid of getting negative feedback (and still kind of am), but realize any constructive criticism is only going to be beneficial as long as it leads in a direction. Although I am pretty stoked I've picked the highest paying major (of business) and have given up on the PHD ideas. Although interesting, it's way more work than I want to deal with in my freshman year of college. Although all the loopholes are not closed, I feel satisfied I at least got the messages out on a professional level that I hope, are enough for now. I've tried a few things other routes, like attempting to reach out to lawyers and such. But all of that has been no good in attempting communications with my IT background.

And hell yes, I'm still addicted to a few low level things. Of course porn, cigarettes, and music but hope to work through them within 5 years or less.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Levels to this ...

Why does nobody differentiate between associates degree level thought and conversation and other levels of education. Associate working towards (futurecasting).


Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Always wanted to call 'em out on their lies.

There's a lot of things that need to be done with massive fucking action. I ask myself why I think that these things aren't happening in my life currently. But at the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing. But, people don't it yet. These new people in my life that are adding up will make me more capable to compose our opinions in life and just talk.

I still need to vent (by getting drunk and working through my ex's) about all 58 of them. I've been out of the game for a minute, but am going forward into it head on. I was holding it down for a minute too. This marijuana has made me so much mo better relaxed. Seriously? Hell yes, I'm so much better on chatty social situations.

But true I stay on point, I'm coming to a collusion where I'm finding those that I like much more than those who don't. These goals I'm going to reach, these things I have to get done, and all that are going with--towards them too. These exstacy holes, the jailbait attitudes, and the tripling spiritually are all good (I'm staying positive and letting them go).

In the right sentencing of self. Going to Timmy Trumpet, to see my star go up. Really makes me giddy, I feel so much more confident and above love. I don't view it as a problem anymore thinking about my old life. I swear I had a lot of secrets there for awhile, holding back my own options for expressing my opinions.

Being at ease and relaxing, about to roll another in 2-4 hours. Call'em how I see them, I've got things to take care of. Blending with those dreams of places and things. It's about time, I don't let these things fade. But realize that they must brightly shine with the rest of the stars out there.

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Password changing poop pickup.

This is a real no-brainer script. I must try to recreate the now suspect internal memos that were passed around (as a coverup) that were explaining how problems got promoted so that they could never ever ever want anything to do but for people like me to catch the criminals responsible for the crimes that perpetuated the fact that these people had to be known to me at some point or another and all the blurry screens filtered down to different crimes of various natures. Including myself and probably 98% of criminals out there. Still dealing with the fact that they don't have enough education (or suitable technology) for that matter that allows them to clear themselves. Enough to allow them to fully function in society at large in a manner that would allow them to "Be at the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing" (JTHS Graduation Motto 2000.) inscribed at the bottom changed my life and I knew I had to stop doing things illegal. There should be a boot camp for that (another business idea), although I don't know the point of classifications of how that work or who goes where. Scared to death, locked up, told to crawl out of a window by my attorney. I still don't know the answer to fight or flight. I was afraid I was going to die. Upon meeting my stepfather, denounced--the Lord our God.

Scared for the rest of my life, after that. Kids don't know how to fight at 3 years old. I'm communicating now, here on the internet. All over the jokes. You tell something to someone, dying to continue the conversation, and they don't even remember what you said. Time for lunch, and I don't give a fuck like right now.

Still lying to myself...

Wish I had time to remember everything, I want this to be a supportive community with communication between people. I really feel followers would be a lovely thing. Just feel like I accomplished something by bridging even though I don't feel safe enough because I'm not in a position to defend myself yet (I don't know how, I don't fight, and I would like to build stronger ties with law enforcement, the communities leaders, politicians, those in charge, and business people. It' s also not bad for me to get to know the little man (those people who are just everyday people), that I see in my neighborhood, workers at a store. Just being nice, it affected me so much seeing a girl in person that was nice. Kind of a trip (definitely) and just a time travel. I do remember know as I am writing things over about how to do it. There was a little bit of scion, but they've been axed by Toyota. RLOL (Roaring Laugh Out Loud).

Definitely feeling the Capella mode of Eminem in the silence, it's the last thing I heard. silence in-between songs. Really though I think about my friends and I don't know how to bridge that, catharsis is something I've been avoidance . I still find myself writing you instead of your. telling myself i have more to talk about and achieve and goals to reach more than what I'm just feeling like acting like now in my writing as a smart little man. I should think more about what's in the works now for fun and adventure instead of missing out on everything from my past life and try to forget everything on the bridge. But my bridge is loaded with items and people and it's a very happy city on both sides. I'm talking tech, and keys, lovely cars parked on both sides. I really realized I'm, dealing with myself for no reason. I don't have those people in my life.

Plan on writing recommendations for people as to what they should use and buy, in truth I must be using it for my own gains, and feel as if I am still programming a perfect world I made up. In my anarchy scripture (of all over the place). Still trying to defuse my dis-functional Christianity on into spirituality.

As I'm writing this I am still covering up all my forced mental health problems of being in plagiarism (my form of insanity).