Monday, May 8, 2017
Fuck this sucks so bad. Trying to stay safe. Ratchet as new old lady roommate (housemate) attacking me right away. I'm just chilling in my non-high state, just a Lil drunk kicking back enjoying the weather after haveing done a set working out in the neighbors (landlord: leasees; adult sons kids place). They are my Dad's side of the family more or less. Emotionally it still makes me feel caught between families but at least I'm closer to one side now. Working out and drinking and smoking and 420 is good. But I don't like doing it so much anymore. I can't even a(have to choose my words carefully). Not having to be what's the word to every woman I meet is so hard because I'll never find the one I'm looking for. They have all fucked up this side of town. Still stuck on that little girl trip trying to actually make my balls smaller; because I don't give a fuck (actually) and don't care for the drama. I've got to tell (E)Manual (the guy I'm renting the living room I'm in now) that I'd just want to stay in the living room especially for $300 and after it will all be cleaned by that ratchet ass skank fuck old lady; bitch please no hell no forgive me. Just went to therapy today and took a survey and has climbed so much but as soon as she attacked me I wanted to fly off the handle and I don't have the civil on my side to have the people on my side to be able to be able to control the problem. These people don't follow me, it's still death before dishonor as I think about someone else's blonde ambition (that I don't have). I felt all kind of emotions and bodily attacks dealing with people who come at me negatively and strongly. I know I can do this. I'm looking forward to keeping it how I have too (not really). I have to compromise so much with my life I'm not looking forward to having to be behind on what's going on (that would be what there is to do). Since getting robbed. I still have to deal with ratchets old ladies instead of nigga errs. I only get to do half of what I want to do and have a time limit on being included on the following half. Then between I'm not in another place I want to get to be. I need to go on campus if I'm going to use the computer. #vibingwithg.