Sunday, June 4, 2017

New place, feeling kind of anxious about the complete trust of the place.

I have to give one of the roommates $330 on Saturday. Not sure how I feel about this because my school has said it will probably have a delay in funds being processed (distributed). I just had a chargeback of $855 from a tow. A bunch of bullshit. I was having an episode and needed $1 for gas to get back home. They towed me across the street instead of to the dealership (I didn't know what was going on with my car since its new and lights were popping). Where I asked for it to be sent then I had to spend 3 days on a psych hold again. Need some weed, really badly. Got $10 to my name for the next 1-3 days. Money coming in from my mom, then again I can work Uber, but I'm waiting until after class on Monday. Seriously considering picking up a history class to go full time in the in the Summer along with College Success for the maximum amount of money (from financial aid). Might have fucked up at the porn store job at Showgirls by just relaxing on the clock and smoking when taking out the boxes. William said it was ok, but the manager wasn't there (and wasn't but popped while I was doing it and they have cameras all over the place around there. I don't feel comfortable typing certain things and not sure why. I really want to see my therapist on Tuesday, but may have that class starting. Kind of some dumb bullshit going on here not everyone is responsible but it kind of hurts knowing about. I should be doing good in a few months. Money wise it'll all be coming in. I'm reaching the maximum battery life of not getting through classes lol. I need to be able to do something in the meantime. I'm starting to focus on 4 classes a semester instead of 3 and should go quicker as long as I don't relapse. I should be ok. I wish there were some music specifically for http://www.themighty.com community. I met a really cool friend now I'm rooming with. Almost like me just a slightly happier version. I'm a millennial I wish I had some way to hook up into another one with some rather large amount of money. My life is always kind of redundant, need to change it up a bit. But that costs money. My mother doesn't want to work with me on the money situation and it has been driving me crazy. I just want an open sort of communication but it's too much to ask for. Burning my bridges suck. But I had to because I can't stay in the loop when I'm having all these troubles. The problems I was facing were pretty steep. Hustling one week of 4 different jobs got me setup for this month. I really want to take a vacation. Buy some kind things to me and come on some titties. That would make all my problems go away. I don't know what else to do. Trying to work is just taxing. I put in $500 of work last week just to reach this point. Didn't get any bonuses yet, no insurance, or sign-ons. Last year I was doing good with 1 friend and pulling in 3.5k a month (combined) with 40k of assets. Now I just have my car and 3 salvaged giant plastic bins of property. Knowing that my enemies still have this blog address and are just being gang members trolling around me in real life kind of hurts. I want to escape but in reality, I kind of feel pity for them as well because I'm almost was one of them. I was just diverted onto a different flight path away from them. My biggest problem now is just getting you know what. I'm so horny right now thinking about it but it costs and I can't afford it. I'm a good looking guy but 5 years is such a long time I have to get back out there. Last time about this time I did pua and it was the only motivating factor that got me through about 82% of my problems in my experience. But lead me away from school after I did badly. Unless I can talk to someone at length to give me the proper words to be able to finish my eduction it will take me a long time to finish. Just working and waiting makes my balls hurt.