Thursday, July 13, 2017

Crawling out of this rabbit hole! ... again

Just remembering Joseph Lee getting drunk and The Puerto Rican Cowboy Hitman. Actually liked his lil shit. Josefly was a good memory.  But talking to Yoyo again we have matching contact formats. A loophole that should be closed as far as persona security goes. I always feel like I'm thinking as if I were getting into the minds of happy girls. Women who used to be girls. It helps me deal with my own engrams (painful memories) and issues. I don't know if I can get any closer to the courts without actually knowing who works in them. But those are ex-hacker issues. And all that anarchist stuff (I used to sell; sold). Feel slightly sick by myself. #Goingtobed

Update:; I'm still in this rabbit hole. Negotiating with my past. Not getting anywhere with no good god damn girl to find on the internet. Can't even get a quickie or nothing. Man, I miss being a scrawny little hybrid who was a rich kid. There is nothing here to use for me and my life. It's now or never whatever. I don't know what to do on a Sunday maybe I'll get high tonight.Tomorrow starts the bullshit over again looking for a job. I have to go to Folsom Plaza to mount up some managers to talk with them about interviews and getting hired. Nothing is for sure. I haven't sold anything yet. I forgot I have a guy coming by to get a Cobra for half of what I paid for it. I need to be talking to someone as I type this. Timing never works. How can you have a relationship with all the minuses present and the timing never works up. I've been trying for weeks and even my whole life to try to get something done of this nature and stature. It just got hot. Doesn't make much sense. I'm going to be insane. I want to move to a legal area that works for me. Seatac pays good. But I just need to find a job. Finish this shit. The weather is better up there. People are more like me. I don't know how to take down the Golgatron Goliath bigger and better than me. Whatever the name of it is. Just gaps. In my thoughts. Fuck the techniques. Databasing? I never get asked what I think at the tight opportunity of timing. Should be homework to do.  But since I'm poor. Have no job. Have to battle everything all the time from being pysched fuckless at (nowadays). The noise and the peoples, places, and things who make it are the problem for me now. I've been through all this forced shit for no good reason. I can't even tell my stories. I need to go to rehab sober............or something.

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